I was on a good streak. My life was coming back together. New adviser and finally some freedom to write my dissertation proposal in a way that made sense to me. No committee but moving forward is moving forward. Then I fell back...hard.
Today I had to officially drop my dissertation credits with my adviser and add them with my new adviser. I know what you might be thinking...simple paperwork. For me, that was the ultimate in letting go of this relationship. There I stood in the department office sobbing. I couldn't even talk or finish the paperwork or even take it to the graduate school. I have a bit of a reputation as an ice queen. I cannot tell you just how many faculty members saw me cry. I'm sure they were stunned. I was stunned. And devastated. My new adviser is wonderful and do helpful, but I miss her terribly. I feel incredibly alone in the department.
And even more devastated that life dealt my adviser this hand. Her platelet count had been low (but stable) for a week now. The new super cancer pill should elevate that. It hasn't yet. It's hard to know exactly what this drug can/should/will do.
As a side note, my "delayed" little L is walking, bouncing and walking whole covering her eyes. :)
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