Thoughts on "just" being an adjunct

When I was in graduate school, I had a plan. A very, very specific plan. It involved a lot of publications, a lot of work with my well-respected advisor, and in the end, the reward would be a tenure track job. This wasn't the reality. When I came to the end of my doctoral program I made a difficult decision. I decided to stop looking for jobs. I decided to write. I decided to embrace it. I decided to throw out my ideas and see where life would take me. I couldn't handle the stress, and quite frankly, I am nothing remarkable on the job market. HOWEVER, I totally have that interviewing thing nailed so, fine readers, if you are on the job market, this esteemed doctor can help you. I took a fixed-term lecturer position at the university where I received my degree. Four classes a semester, poor pay, and awesome benefits. There is no certainty. For me, the decision was simple. I love this school. I love my students. I love what I teach. So, this works. The criticism and the nasty comments I received from my colleagues blew my mind. The people I thought supported me, and the people that I still continue to support filled my life with these comments and questions: So, when will you get a real job? That must be hard to be "just" an ad hoc. I am sorry. You must be so disappointed. I hope that you find something that makes you happy. Being an adjunct is "career suicide" With little support from my advisor, colleagues and friends, I did not feel good about this decision. In fact, I felt incompetent, unappreciated, depressed, and full of rage. Then I made a choice. I made the choice that no matter how much negativity surrounded me, I would embrace this opportunity. I would see where life took me. I would see how I developed as a teacher. I would see what happened, and no matter what, I would not let others get to me. I decided it was time to take risks with teaching, to find what I love about teaching, and find a home with my colleagues who call being an adjunct home. I am not "just" an adjunct. It is true, I don't have tenure. I am am educator. I am passionate about what I teach. I teach students each day about interviewing, and I model for them each day how you build relationships. I challenge them, I let them challenge me. They leave and say, "Wow, I had no idea how important interviewing would be to me." They leave and they do amazing things. I love what I do. I love that I can teach. I love the freedom I have, I embrace the uncertainty, I appreciate each summer, I value the downtime, I treasure the relationships and more importantly, I have learned that uncertainty is a very normal and very natural thing in life. It isn't something to run from. It is something to embrace. I watch my ambitious and successful friends, and I respect them and am proud of them. But sometimes I wonder if they will breathe and appreciate life. I wonder if they will slow down and appreciate all that they are and all they have done. I wonder if they will slow down and let the passionate that sent them to graduate school come alive during a classroom discussion. For those who question me, I can stand at the end of the year and say this. This is not the life I expected, but this is a life that has opened doors and created relationships and opportunities I never envisioned. This is a life that has taught me bigger lessons that make me a better teacher, a better friend, a better mother and a better person. I love what I do, and I will continue to do what I do until life takes me down another path.